So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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