Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize