Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize