i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize