Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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