cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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