You surviving the open bar?
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If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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