i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
3pm strippers are depressing
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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