God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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