My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize