he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
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my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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