the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
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We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Send help, water and tortillas.
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ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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