i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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