I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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