apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's rum buckets o'clock
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize