I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
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will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
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He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize