i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
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so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
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I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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