Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I am mentally ready for anal.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize