why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize