Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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