Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize