I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
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Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
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Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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