mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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