i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
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I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
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After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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