Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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