Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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