Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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