she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
babies were throwing up all over the place
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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