His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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