community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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