My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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