hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize