i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
jump out the window naked night went bad
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