Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
