This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
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My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
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i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I love you. Go after that dick
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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