My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
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I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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