I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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