You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize