do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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