yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Drake has all the answers
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize