I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
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Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
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I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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