You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Randomize