yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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