Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
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She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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