I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
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He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
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Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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