i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
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Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
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still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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