We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
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He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
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Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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