So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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