sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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