there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize