listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
