Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize